Sunday, April 09, 2006


My degree of optimism is exceptionally high so I prefer to see brighter side of the Sun despite eclipse. This positive attitude helps me a lot to keep negative forces out at the bay but sometime things get too pushy and I need to be more critical on being an optimist. Being an optimist in real world is not an easy job. Every now and then times test my optimism and toughest thing I encounter is to convince myself, why am I so optimist regarding FRIENDSHIP? Lately this dispute within me outrageously mocking at my optimism and compel me to redefine this word "FRIEND".

Standing this far of my life, I came to realize that FRIENDSHIP doesn't just happen in one fine day. We choose our FRIENDS. And either consciously or unconsciously, we choose them on the basis of need and hunger. Let me stress in "of need and hunger". And how we cultivate FRIEND is a question of noble need and hunger. This cultivation we standardize affects how good we are at this art of FRIENDSHIP. Well I can boast that I have no lack of friends and this is not as if I buy them; they simply come my way because I am full of nectar for life and am so rich in giving. This is why FRIENDS swarm around me all the time. But not all who get attracted to my nectar comes naturally but selfishness too. Philosophically I feel good to possess this nectar but I know many out there in the swarm don't define FRIEND unconditionally like I do. Some are like horrible hornets in bee's skin and it hurts me when they sting my sentiments. I respect true FRIENDS and can go voluminous in defining them with decency but this time let me give you pessimistic definition of cheap FRIEND.

Parasite: definition of this word in Oxford dictionary is perfectly fit to define some FRIEND. A person always relies on or makes use of others and gives nothing in return. There are many FRIENDS around me to whom I can categorized as parasites and all they care is how to absorb me for their benefit. They selfishly enjoy my time, my energy, my skills and my resources without any courtesy. I always have a big heart in giving but they are like you give them an inch and they'll take you a mile. Some are even so callously self-centered. Moreover what annoy me most is that they ask for things as if it's my obligatory. I wonder how could people having this tag 'FRIENDS' get so mean that way.

Opportunist: FRIENDS like these can exploit any circumstances to gain immediate personal advantage rather than being guided by mutual consistent plans or principles. Sometime it is hard to predict FRIENDS like these who play disguising game so well. They can toss FRIEND and FRIENDSHIP in a trash can to win their personal goals. I know lots of FRIENDS around me assume that I don't have this clue of their true colors.

Money Minded: Lots of FRIENDS around me are so good at making 'FRIENDSHIP' a glorified word but when it comes to merry making time they become so materialistic and don't spare a single rupee. In contradiction I never falls short to spend my hard earned money to buy them happiness. And this is not because I have big buck but I believe those happy time I had with FRIENDS has more value than my money. And it hurts me when FRIENDS don't give a shit for my loyal definition of happiness. Behaviors like such dampened my feelings many times and I concentrate on being positive but it's not easy.

Sorry to spill my pessimism about FRIENDS but it is essential to vent my bitter thoughts at times otherwise I can't help being poisoned and get rotten. Despite my unstaggering optimism and good grace for FREINDSHIP I must take measures before my generosity becomes the culprit of my extinction. Certainly there are those FRIENDS that I must ditch and follow my survival instinct. True FRIENDS are like rarest gem and they are so rare in today's world of highly glamorized FRIENDSHIP.


Anonymous said...

BRAVO!!! well said. sounds like someone really ticked you off. Ditch the friends that aren't really friends and move on with those that are!!!!

Anonymous said...

Jitu cha

I got to read your latest thought in your blog. In fact it quite surprised me. When ever I get negative about anything your blog is one of those few things I turn into to revive my self ("with a hope to gain something from you"). This time, I could not do that. I see you devastated may be with the experience you have gone through recently or have been nurtured in your heart from quite a long time. It's indeed the bitter fact, how you have described some "friend" but let me be optimistic here that with this realization you have indeed saved yourself from the people around you who you call "Friend" and you are definitely not late and not unjustified.

And you know what, sometimes you can "not forgive" also, for I know how big hearted you are to forgive a person that potentially harms you. but sometimes life demands to break the rule you set. And I think you have just done that and set a new rule that no longer will allow to play with your emotions, and yet giving some chances to those few, which is just your character. While it makes me sad that you had to go so such an extent about the thing which you valued the most in your life, I hope this is the only last chance to read you go so pessimistic, I hope you only have nicest things to share.


Jiten said...

Dear Sis Debaki,

Obviously many would be surprised to see me go pessimist regarding FRIEND that way but I think my blog is not just about my optimism or pessimism attitude it's also about my realism in clarifying that this Jitu also has a same four chambery heart that gets hurt when people take him for granted.

Besides, I certainly know what it's like to be preoccupied and uncaring person, yet I am also conscious of my deep desire to treat other's feelings as my own. Each of us is selfish in the sense that we are always doing what some part of us wants. Generosity feels at least as rewarding as our hunger and greed. And this may be my selfishness to try to measure my generosity. But anyway, selfishness is neither good nor bad -- it depends on the way we are selfish as to whether it nourishes or injures. It makes me astonish why FRIENDS are so numb to realize this.

Please don't worry regarding this blog. Though devastated still I know how to assemble pieces of my heart and move on. By the way, I am so glad to know that my blogs has been such a positive impact on you. Thank you for letting me know about this and for your good comment.

Jitu cha dai.

Anonymous said...

Don't Regreat of freinds being mean becoz they indeed r mean. They r rather nuisence than a true fren. They make u feel the life in the way that should not be.
See as we all know, things do not remain same, it's changing since the day we r fixed. So don't feel bad or get depressed of things, when they go real bad, just think it's just the way that they should be.

Prabin/ Sangeeta

Jiten said...

Dear Prabin/Sangeeta
I can't blame and definitely don't regret but rather feel proud that I have such a good heart who made differences in so many people's life. May be not now but someday they will realize it. So, I am quite calm. I know change is a sign of life and everything change, so do I and my blog.

Thank you for your comment hai.
Jitu cha.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jiten Dai,
It was a good attempt to define friends. But, Alas! I am afraid which category do I fall to. A fantasy came to mind and a soft whisper was heard in the cool air ……Jiten is a best friend to all. In fact, I believed that fantasy and gladly found a good friend within you. Now, when me and so many friends like me are willing to keep a good friendship, share pains and gains with you…you turn your face around, not at all fair!!How could you not hear those good hearts beating around you with rythms of friendship?
So, add one more category …"TRUE FRIENDS" Then start fitting your friends in all those categories that you have defined. I am quite sure you will have most of them in the new category you have introduced…. Yes !! …they are all your true frens…………Am I also there Jiten dai…..????
Babina Sis

srijanablog said...

Jitu dai,

When you see such selfish friends around you, just remember your true friends. You will feel relaxed and happy.

"Wish you a happy NEW YEAR 2063".


Anonymous said...

Yea Furke,

Yea furke,

ani afno "chitta" lai Sunder steel furniture ko Griha laxmi daraj bhita godrej ko tala banda garera rakhna pardaina. Desh ma tetro andolan chaleko bela khullam khulla rakhepachhi ghoch, pech bhaihalchha ni..

Be assured that we are always there for you. No matter what happens :-)

You know who I am right,


Jiten said...

Sis, Babina
Here I was just referring categories of cheap FRIEND and of course I have so much to write about FRIENDS who are so close to me and so dear to my heart. May be my next blog will be about them so have little more patience. You sure will get chance to read about my TRUE FRIEND. By the way, I assure you that my dear sis Babina don't fall in those categories that I've referred in my blog. And please don't limit your horizon of friendship, concerning my viewpoint. I guess what count the most is not where you fit but how fit yourself.

I am glad to have your first comment. Thank you.


Don't worry what I have expressed in my blog is just a drop in comparision to an ocean of nice people around me.

Thank you for everything hai.

And yes dear Kali

I have the choice of being right or being human. When I choose to be right, FRIEND get hurt and when I choose to be being human I hurt myself. So, it's kind of an unbalanced equation. Anyway, I already am what I am. And that is both the simplest and the hardest thing for me to realize.

Thanks for the comment.

Keep surfing,
Jitu cha.

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